#5 - Releasing Perfectionism

Hey, you're listening to Soul Seek with me Akshaya in this space you have permission to dream to learn, to grow, and to break free. Welcome home my love's. 

Hello my love's and welcome back to Soul Seek with me Akshaya Chinapa. Today I'm going to talk to you about releasing perfectionism. And here are a few thoughts to begin with. 
Perfectionism can be limiting, it means that something is not ready. Not good enough, or needs improvement. Perfectionism is an obstacle when we try to perfectly line up all of our ducks, making sure we have a safe and a foolproof plan, trying to avoid all failures along the way to where we desire to be. That's the strive for perfectionism. Right? We want to plan it out, to avoid failing to avoid feeling discomfort, to ensure success. And what happens along the way is we get stuck. 

For example, if you have a new business idea, say, like me, you're ready to become a life coach. And you go, well, first, I need a life coaching certification, then I need another certification to make sure that I can talk to my clients about trauma, then I need a certification to talk about grief. And then I need a hypnosis certification. And then maybe an NLP certification. Right. It's this constant barrage of the more certifications I have, the better, I will be able to coach my clients. And then you wait, and you wait, and you wait to begin this business because you're waiting to get all these certifications lined up. 

But what happens is, you never really begin. Because the thought in the back of your mind is I'm not good enough. I'm not ready. Right? And what if you were ready right now just to serve? Clients, people, friends? As a coach, right? What is it that truly drives you to serve people this way. And although a certification can truly enhance what you offer, it doesn't add to the core of your desire to serve. 

So these obstacles can lay in the way of like, any business, any plan, right? And if we go back to the business example, what they don't tell you is that before a business succeeded, it failed many, many times. Any one successful business likely went through many rebrands many transformations, until they found what worked for them. So you might see a successful business owner who's tried a specific strategy, and it works for them. And you try that same strategy, and somehow it's not working for you. And let me tell you, it's not the strategy. It's finding out what works for you, what lights you up, what you actually enjoy doing, right? Not what you should be doing. 

If you get so caught up in all of these details, all of these strategies, all of these perfectly designed roadmaps, how will you truly begin? So let me tell you a story. 

So I launched this podcast just earlier this week. Right? You might be listening to this episode in May or June. June of 2022. But I launched it in April of 2022. And yesterday, my husband started listening to the first episode. And the first thing he noticed was, oh, the audio quality is not perfect. I hear a lot of background noise. And this is how I responded, I asked him, like, what if you listened beyond the audio quality? Right, if you listen beyond the audio quality, what message? Will you hear? And that's interesting, because we often tend to focus on the thought that it's not perfect. Right? We get so caught up. 

And here's the thing. I'm just like you. There's a reason it took me two years to get started on my podcast. Right, two years, because I got stuck in, I need to figure out the technology, I need to figure out the platforms, I need to figure out my message. And honestly, the only one thing I needed to really focus on was figuring out my message, and then just pressing record either on my cell phone on zoom on, you know, iMovie, whatever it is, right. So if you're looking to start a podcast, all you have to do is just have your message and hit record. All of the other stuff, you will figure out along the way, because that's exactly what I did. 

You can train your brain to focus on progress over perfection. I'm sure you've heard this before, right? Progress, not perfection. What does that actually mean? So let me tell you a story. A few months ago, I decided to sign up for a pottery class. And one of the driving thoughts behind signing up for a pottery class was one to have this uninterrupted time to focus on something other than my business. The second thought I went in with was I want to get really familiar with the feel of clay. Like I want to be so familiar that it feels like second nature to me when I handle clay. So that's the point that I am aiming to get to. Right. I'm going to accept that I'm going to make many mistakes along the way. Why? Because I haven't done a lot of pottery in the past. Right? It takes time, patience, and a willingness to fail to get even just one little pot out of your class, right. And the other thing I gave myself permission to do is I said, I'm going to use as much clay as I need to learn because what I find I tend to do what I did when I was learning you know teaching myself how to paint is oh, I need to save the paint because it was expensive. I don't want to waste the paint. And that also kind of got tied up into the idea that oh, my paintings aren't perfect. These flowers are so wonky. I'm wasting my paint on these imperfect paintings, pictures, right. So now I'm like no, I'm going to use as much clay as I need to. So I can learn. And here's the thing I have had so many pots, so many bowls, so many cups like fall over. have, you know either added too much water. I've stuck my nails in the clay accidentally. I've held my clay too hard and it's totally twisted the whole pot. And I just had to like fold them up and throw them into the recycle bin.

And sometimes I've made things that were fired, glazed and ready like a complete product, but then they were heavy and clunky and just not a pleasure to use. And so I tossed those out to not because they were imperfect. Because I know that by making space, I'm not attached to oh my god, I made this, I have to keep this. I took pictures. And then I said, You know what, I don't need these anymore. I'm gonna work on the next piece and see how that turns out. Right? So for me, it's not coming home with an end product. For me, it's really getting so intimate with the feel of clay. And hey, I'm not planning to sell my work. Right? So I get to be in a creative space without attachment to the end product. 

And that's a beautiful gift to give yourself, my friends. I've made so much progress in the last five months, just because I've given myself permission to fail. Right? 

So I want to ask you, how is perfectionism getting in your way, and keeping you from what you desire? Right? If you want to start an art class, or a dance class, are you telling yourself that you're not a good dancer before you even go to a dance class? Because let me tell you something, that class is there to teach you how to dance.

How does your drive to be perfect affect your joy and your peace? How are you limiting yourself from feeling truly joyful or loving towards yourself? Because you're not at your perfect marker yet. What can you do today to refocus your brain to progress? Right, refocusing on progress? Letting go of the idea of perfection? What can you do today, just today alone? Whether you're cooking a meal, whether you're getting dressed for the day, putting on your makeup, can you focus on progress over perfection? How will you track your progress? If you pick one thing today? How will you track your progress over the coming days, weeks?

And finally, will you allow yourself to fail? If you knew their progress was around the corner of failure would you allow yourself to fail? The sooner you get out of your own perfectionistic tendencies, the sooner you will find your source of joy and peace.

It is there within you my loves. You've got this. I'm rooting for you. And please leave a comment let me know how you're working on progress today. Have a beautiful day my love's. 

If you're looking for one on one support in finding your vision and your purpose, if you're ready to discover how generational and societal messaging gets in your way, and if you want to learn how to prioritize your needs, your goals and your dreams, so you can live a purposeful life that you love. Then my one on one coaching is for you. Sign up for a discovery call at akshayachinapa.com or just find the link below at the end of the episode. Have a beautiful day my love's you deserve to live a life you love.